Ephesians 5:22-33 "Overcoming Selfishness"

November 19, 2017 Speaker: Pastor Randy Walls Series: Ephesians

Passage: Ephesians 5:22–33, Matthew 16:24–25

Pastor Randy Walls continues teaching through the book of Ephesians.

Steps to take: How can you overcome selfishness in your relationship?

1. Choose to look honestly at your thoughts and motives. 

-- You examine yourself by simply focusing your attention on what you are thinking. 

-- How do you perceive yourself in relation to your partner? 

-- Do you think you are better, smarter, or wiser than your spouse? 

-- These thoughts reveal selfish and arrogant thinking that will result in actions that will cause conflict and little relationship. 

-- Remember, "If anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself" (Gal. 6:3). 

-- Don't deceive yourself. Rather, be honest and think seriously about yourself. You are nothing apart from Christ and His transforming grace. 

2. Ask for revelation and conviction. 

-- He will show you what the issues of selfishness are in your own life

-- He wants to transform you into His own image

3. Choose to deny yourself and surrender to the Lord. 

-- Will you choose to deny your selfish desires or choose to deny the conviction? 

-- It's one thing to know you shouldn't do something; it's quite another to respond to the conviction and stop doing it. 

-- It's really just a choice you make.

-- Throughout Scripture, man's choice is identified as what has determined whether he will experience God's power to change or not. -- Joshua encouraged the children of Israel, "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve" (Joshua 24:15). 

-- God pleaded with His people through the Prophet Isaiah, "choose what pleases Me, and hold fast My covenant" (Is. 56:4). 

-- Moses also warned the Jews, "I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life" (Deut. 30:19). 

-- Choosing to deny your selfish thoughts and motives is up to you. -- No one can do this for you; it's your decision. 

-- Everyday you are presented with a multitude of choices to make. 

-- Will you choose to serve Christ or not? 

-- Will you choose what pleases Him or what pleases you? 

-- Will you choose to serve yourself first or your spouse? 

Paul also emphasized the need of the Holy Spirit who would enable victory over our fleshly nature. He said, "If you live according the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live" (Rom. 8:13). 

4. Confess your selfishness. 

-- "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16).

What would be the response from your spouse to this kind of humility and honesty? Don't you think that your mate would respond in a loving and gracious way? Wouldn't this action bring healing to your relationship and a new depth of intimacy and love? 

God requires this kind of humility and honesty in our relationships. Without it He will not bless your attempt to change these areas of your life. 

-- Solomon declared, "He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy" (Prov. 28:13). 

-- Don't let the sin of pride keep you from making a complete break with your selfish behavior.

5. Choose to love-- Choosing to love in circumstances in which you were formerly living selfishly is the only way you will be able to forsake selfish behavior. Forsaking selfish behavior is the choice to love.

-- Remember, your ultimate example must be Jesus Christ, who "did not please Himself" (Rom. 15:3). 

-- He chose to love each one of us to the point of laying down His own life in service to the Father. 

-- If you sincerely care for your spouse, you will serve and give of yourself in the same manner. 

-- May you have the heart to do as He has done for you!